![]() Also, not sure what mugwort, motherwort, or yarrow smell like exactly, but they sure knocked the rose, lavender, calendula, and rosemary out in terms of scent. I was kind of disappointed the mixture didn't smell stronger? Maybe it was my impatient ass that kept taking the lid off to check my simmer every five seconds, but I somehow got it in my head that this experience would also cause my kitchen to smell like a rose garden. Once I had my cardboard toilet and herbs ready, it was stewing time! While directions may vary according to whichever steaming herbs you purchased, my directions said to simmer (not boil) the herbs in a pot for 10 minutes with the lid on, then let the mixture cool for five. The herbs included rosemary, mugwort (?), motherwort (?), yarrow (?), calendula, lavender, and rose petals, so it was also a comfortable ratio of Harry-Potter-sounding shit and scents I recognized. The Devi Steam herbs were packaged with enough proprietary labels on them that I felt like I at least wasn't buying a deconstructed teabag in a sandwich bag, and at $17 for three uses, it wasn't too extravagant. Since a big reason I even wanted to do the steam in the first place was because it seemed pampering and bougie, I decided this wasn't for me, and instead chose to sit on my $50 corrugated toilet like a damn king.īuy Now Devi Steam Yoni Steaming Herbs, VIBRANT SOUL (Available on Amazon), $17 You'd just boil the mixture normally and then pour it into your toilet and sit. If you wanna go even more Kmart-Goop than I did, you can also use your existing toilet to do the steam. It was also, at $50 (it's now half price, so lucky you), one of the cheapest options. The cardboard folded out like a banker box sort of contraption, so it could easily stow away if I did want to keep it around, or could be easily recycled. Aside from the unintentional reminder of how fucked I'd be if ever there were an apocalypse (the only thing in my cupboards at any given time are ketchup packets and strawberry Pocky) I was happy with my choice. I settled on a cardboard emergency toilet on Amazon, the kind doomsday preppers buy for use in the end times. My apartment doesn't have a ton of extra storage and I didn't feel like explaining to every guest from now until the end of time that the 10 gallon plastic bucket in the corner of my living room was used to steam clean my uterus. While they do sell seats made specifically for yoni steaming, none of them were A.) in my budget, or B.) small enough that I could easily stow it away afterwards. Unfortunately, most seats that allow this look like toilets. Get something that will allow you to comfortably sit for 30–40 minutes, and keep some distance between your vulva and the scalding hot water beneath you. You need some sort of chair or stool with a hole in the seat so the steam source can sit below and waft up to your crotchal region. The Seatįirst, I had to acquire a suitable seat for my yoni steam. While you can go to certain medical spas to have a yoni steam, I wanted to try it at home because I'm on a budget and it seemed like an indulgent, fun pampering thing you could DIY on a sliding scale, like a sheet mask or paying $4.99 for the premium version of a meditation app you'll eventually delete to make space on your phone for catty screenshots.Ī quick disclaimer before we begin: you're not supposed to do a yoni steam if you have an IUD or are currently menstruating. ![]() I choose to see this as positivity and optimism, but some might call it being gullible, so take these claims with a massive grain of pink Himalayan salt (that might completely cure your depression or just be salt, I don't know.) The more general and vague the promise, the more I believe in it. So when I heard about Gwyneth Paltrow's yoni steam endorsement, I knew I not only had to try it, I had to put a LOT of unrealistic expectations on what the treatment would do for me, and how it would totally change my love life, my mind, and possibly my tax bracket.Įverything about the yoni steam trend is ridiculous, which of course, makes me eat it up even more! The idea is that steaming your yoni (or vulva) with a mixture of herbs will net you easier, lighter periods (always good), less cramps (I'm down), increased fertility (not for me, but whatever), and promote general good vibes. ![]() Give me a way to drastically improve my life with just one 30-minute treatment and I will truly commit.
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